Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize