I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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