Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
