Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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