We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. I can't hear my feet
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I have surprise drugs for everyone
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize