He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
