Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize