I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
