Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize