forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
