im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Randomize
