Is it normal to miss your booty call?
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I think my vagina is haunted
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
