i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
