your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
