Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
