I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize