shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Randomize
