What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
