so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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