Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize