SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
