3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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