the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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