U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
