I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
