I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Randomize
