like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Don't tell me you're on acid again
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
