i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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