goodnight i made you a song goodbye
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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