It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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