remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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