goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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