You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
