I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
