I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
sarcasm needs its own font
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
