so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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