I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
