There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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