omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize