no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
