I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Mom said you looked used
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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