"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
