If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
so much tequila, so little girl.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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