Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
