thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Randomize
