conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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