there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I got inside last night via doggy door
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
