Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Randomize
