You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
