dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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