I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
