Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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