the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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