Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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