I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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