If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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