How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
