I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
