the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
