let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
