apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
