i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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