she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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